I’m sure you can relate…
Most of us have a person, perhaps more than one, who have caused us pain on numerous occasions.
I was recently faced with adrenal fatigue again. I realised that it isn’t enough just to “cope”. For the underlying stress jumps up when we least expect, or when we need to rest and heal. Adrenal overdrive may feel normal, if that has been the state of affairs for as long as you can remember. But it is not planned…not according to Jeremiah 29:11.
“For I know the thoughts I think toward you,” says Yahweh,
“thoughts of shalom, and not of evil,
to give you a hope and a future.”
A couple of years ago, our family faced a situation that absolutely rocked us. I never expected to feel the way I did in that place, and I was so hurt and confused. And while it seems we should be “over” it (whatever “it” may be to you) when time has passed and life seems to be sunny-side-up again, that just is not the way we were designed.
I want to invite you to walk with me. Picture a large room with stacks of filing drawers. That is your mind. Those drawers are scenes from your life, and the contents of those drawers are your memories; your mind is absolutely amazing. It runs through those drawers regularly, just to make sure everything is still tidy and functioning well. But when it comes across drawers with junk in them, junk causing problems, it throws it up into your consciousness. Do you ever get that moment where a memory starts to replay in your mind without you knowing why? Notice that it is almost always a bad memory; that is your mind asking you to deal with it. We need to work it out until we have perfect peace in that place, because trauma, unforgiveness, anger, distrust, jealousy etc. can (and do) replay in our bodies without our cognitive participation.
You will keep him in perfect peace,
Whose mind is stayed on You,
Because he trusts in You.
If we don’t deal with it, but ignore it, it just goes back into the drawer. And even worse, when we sometimes re-live that pain, bitterness and disappointment, we reaffirm and blow up that horrible memory our mind is asking us to deal with and, in time, see the multitude of side-effects in our physical bodies.
Today, Abba asked me to handle memories in a group; a group based on negative events connected to one person. Your group may be based on a certain series of events connected to different people, but this group I am handling is connected to one.
The Lord Yahweh’s Spirit is on me; because Yahweh has anointed me to preach good news to the humble.
He has sent me to bind up the broken hearted,
to proclaim liberty to the captives,
and release to those who are bound;
to proclaim the year of Yahweh’s favor,
and the day of vengeance of our God;
to comfort all who mourn
I have done a course in Theophostic prayer ministry, and I can testify that it IS possible to heal from any memory with guidance given by Elohim.
I would suggest we start by praying first. Pray for guidance, and the courage to go to the places that hurt, and the freedom to forgive.
1. Write down your list of memories related to that person/category. Prophetically, if you have a blackboard this would be ideal. You’ll see why.
2. Bring that list before Abba. Read it to Him. Tell him how you feel, if it was unfair, shocking, violating. He knows, but you are His child and this is part of healing. Allow tears to come if they arise. Tears have so much more value than I think we can ever know on this earth. When you have shared your hurts, and your thoughts, ask Him to take the list you made of wrongs you experienced. Declare that He is just and that His will shall be done. And then;
3. From the top of the list, step into that specific memory. Pause there. Forgive the person/s, one by one for what they did (or didn’t do) in that specific situation. Forgive yourself for what you did, for what you perhaps ought to have done and didn’t. If you feel disappointed in Yahweh, if you feel He didn’t protect you or have your best interests at heart, I feel that you can “forgive” Him too, for the process. Just as when a little child gets hurt and we didn’t, for whatever reason, stop it, it still helps that child to hear that we are sorry they experienced it. It doesn’t mean that it was our fault, nor is there blame to cast toward Abba. But it helps us to release the hurt in our human being.
You number my wanderings;
Put my tears into Your bottle;
Are they not in Your book?
Breathe. Feel around in the memory. Is there any sharp pain there anymore? If yes, go through the list of forgiving again. If the pain is unrelated but still there, bring it before Abba. He is righteous, just and merciful. If no pain comes up, ask the Holy Spirit to take away that memory. Then wipe it from the list, or cross it out if it’s on paper.
Confess your trespasses to one another,
and pray for one another,
that you may be healed.
The effective, fervent prayer of a righteous man avails much.
Keep going through all the memories. One by one, those drawers are tidied. And in that place we can find peace and freedom.
Your mercies are new
Your promises remain always true
Joy will come
And joy will stay
As You wipe
All tears away
To the brokenhearted
You are near
In a bottle
You gather every tear.
You are the bread of Life
I will not be deprived
You know my every need
To my cry You always heed
Even in times of despair
Your compassion cannot fade
Making me brave and less afraid
You comfort those who feel weak
Lovingly You speak
Truth filled words
Strengthening my wings like a bird’s
Even like eagle’s wings
You’ll give me a new song to sing
in the winds and waves
Knowing it’s You alone
that can save.